(GUEST) RULE 4: LET HER WIN

Think fast, douchefags! This is The Wanderer, coming at you with a special guest rule! Now, as a man with multiple months of marital experience, I’m about to give you some advice about women that will seem both highly counter-intuitive and (initially) totally un-manly. But, I promise it’ll all make sense when I’m done. So, hang on to your butts and get ready to dive in:

LET HER WIN.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Josh, I’m the manliest man who ever punched a bear in the face while jumping a motorcycle across the Grand Canyon blindfolded. I’ve got so much testosterone in me that there’s a bidding war to bottle my sweat as an ultra-energy drink. And, because of all that manly testosterone, I could never let someone else win at something. I once broke my three year-old nephew’s leg because it looked like he might beat me in a game of hopscotch. How could I ever be enough of a sissy to LET HER WIN?!”

Just calm down there, Hulk Schwarzenegger-Norris, because I’m gonna let you know exactly why you should let her win.

Women like to argue. A lot. Not to say that dudes can’t argue. A heated debate on a topic of importance (cars, superheroes, Star Trek vs. Star Wars, boobs vs. butts, etc.) is one of the manliest activities there is. But, it’s important to remember that arguing with a woman is nothing like debating with a man. When you argue with a woman, things like common sense, logic, and reality don’t matter in the least. The only thing that matters to a woman in an argument is that she’s right. Always.

And that is where we come to the heart of the issue: relationships are war. And, as some dead Chinese guy said, “All warfare is based on deception.” Every argument you have is a battle, and it is a battle you can win. But the way to win an argument with a woman is by not arguing.

Confused yet? Good. You should be.

We win arguments with women in the same way that you survive a bear attack: curl up into a ball, play dead, and wait for the bear to get tired of mauling you and leave. In the same way, you win arguments with women by agreeing with whatever insanity comes out of her mouth. Because then she’ll like you. And let you touch her.

And that, gentlemen, is a true victory.

Guest Rule brought to you by Josh of Wandering Above the Sea of Fog and Rules to Live Your Life By.